The Dude Therapist

How much of who you are is actually yours, and how much was handed to you by the stories, expectations, and cultural myths you grew up believing? In this episode, therapist Eli Weinstein sits down with licensed marriage and family therapist, author, and Jungian depth psychology practitioner Vanessa Bennett for a powerful conversation about identity, codependency, motherhood, relationships, and the unconscious narratives that quietly shape our lives. Drawing from her new book, The Motherhood Myth, Vanessa explores how many of the messages we receive about motherhood, self-sacrifice, gender roles, and worth are rooted in systems that have existed for generations. Together, Eli and Vanessa unpack how these stories influence not only mothers, but all of us—whether we're parents or not. They discuss why martyrdom has become intertwined with modern motherhood, how shame fuels codependent behaviors, and what happens when our identities become dependent on our children, partners, or external validation. Vanessa explains why so many people find themselves saying, "I don't know who I am anymore," and how that question often reveals a much deeper truth. The conversation also dives into masculinity, fatherhood, sexuality, emotional regulation, and the hidden ways people use relationships to avoid discomfort and uncertainty. Vanessa shares how Jungian psychology helps us understand the symbolic stories we inherit—from Mother Mary to Cinderella—and why healing often begins by questioning the narratives we've accepted without realizing it. This episode is an invitation to examine the stories shaping your life, reconnect with your authentic identity, and build relationships rooted in responsibility rather than dependency. If you've ever struggled with losing yourself in a relationship, parenthood, people-pleasing, codependency, or the pressure to be everything for everyone, this conversation is for you. Topics Covered: What the "Motherhood Myth" actually is and why it affects everyone—not just parents How martyrdom became connected to motherhood and self-worth The role shame plays in codependency and identity formation Why patriarchy impacts both women and menAnd more Resources & Links: 📘 The Motherhood Myth by Vanessa Bennett 📘 It's Not Me, It's You by Vanessa Bennett & John Kim 📱 Instagram: @vanessabennett ✍️ Substack: Vanessa Bennett Connect with Eli & The Dude Therapist: 🌐 EliWeinsteinLCSW.com/book 📱 Eli's Instagram: @eliweinstein_lcsw 🎙️ Podcast Instagram: @thedudetherapist About Vanessa Bennett: Vanessa Bennett is a licensed marriage and family therapist, author, and Jungian depth psychology practitioner specializing in codependency recovery, relationships, and the unconscious mind. Through her work, she helps people better understand the stories, patterns, and emotional dynamics that shape their lives. She is the co-author of It's Not Me, It's You and author of The Motherhood Myth. This show is hosted by Eli Weinstein and produced by Rainbow Creative. Executive Producer & Editor: Matthew "MoJo" Jones For sales and sponsorship opportunities, contact: [email protected] Chapters 0:00 Introduction 0:25 Meet Vanessa Bennett & The Motherhood Myth 3:22 What Are the Myths of Motherhood? 7:11 How Dominator Systems Keep Us in Shame 7:51 How Patriarchy Hurts Men Too 8:42 The Martyr Mother: Is Self-Sacrifice Good Parenting? 10:19 The Mother Mary Archetype Reexamined 16:10 Codependency & Losing Your Identity in Motherhood 21:47 Stealing Your Child's Growth (The Hard Truth) 35:11 Sex Is Not About Sex 37:51 The Real Meaning of Cinderella 41:26 The Fairy Godmother Explained 45:18 Key Takeaways from The Motherhood Myth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices