The Dude Therapist

On this episode of 'The Dude Therapist', host Eli Weinstein interviews Dr. Nicole Lepera as she shares her journey from traditional clinical training to a more holistic approach. Dr. Lepera discusses the importance of concepts like polyvagal theory and the brain-gut connection in mental health. She also explores the struggles of modern relationships and the impact of societal messaging on unrealistic expectations. Tune in to gain practical tools for navigating conflict, addressing past traumas, and practicing self-care for personal growth and healthier relationships.

[00:00:06] Summary: Dr. Nicole Lepera, a holistic psychologist and author, is featured on the Dude Therapist podcast. They discuss various topics related to love, relationships, and personal growth. [00:03:29] Feeling disconnected, unfulfilled, and seeking change. [00:08:04] Increased awareness of relationship struggles. [00:12:33] Humans evolved in group-based living in villages with emotional connection and physical support. However, modern society has shifted towards relying on one primary partner for all needs, leading to frustration and disappointment. This pattern stems from early developmental experiences and the belief that the right person can fulfill all emotional needs. Society and culture also reinforce this idea. [00:16:09] Summary: The damaging beliefs and patterns in relationships need to be challenged and reframed. [00:20:11] Love requires intentional choices, and conflict is natural in relationships. Learning how to navigate and resolve conflicts is important to create a safe and secure environment for self-expression and growth. [00:24:15] Issues arise from conflicting beliefs. [00:27:46] Summary: Awareness of our nervous system's role in relationships and the ability to tolerate differences can lead to compassion and acceptance. [00:31:26] Value-driven differences can impact relationships. It's important to have open conversations about values early on to determine compatibility. Sometimes, a break or ending is necessary for personal growth. [00:35:16] Moving on from deep relationships requires grieving. [00:37:39] Summary: Consciousness and mindfulness are key to authentic relationships and personal growth. [00:42:17] Mindfulness is about being present and aware. It involves paying attention to our thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations. We can make new choices and change by becoming conscious of our patterns and narratives. The conditioned self is a byproduct of these patterns, such as overachieving or people-pleasing. Breaking these patterns is challenging because they are deeply ingrained in our holistic model of being. [00:46:09] Beliefs shape our actions and identity. [00:50:12] Struggle with self-care and emotional support. [00:54:20] Summary: The speaker discusses the importance of love and support from others, expresses gratitude for the opportunity to connect, and encourages feedback from listeners.

Dr. Nicole LePera is a holistic psychologist trained at Cornell University, The New School for Social Research, and The Philadelphia School of Psychoanalysis. She is the founder of the global community healing membership SelfHealers Circle and the author of #1 NY Times Bestseller 'How to Do the Work', 'How To Meet Your Self' and'How To Be The Love You Seek'