The Dude Therapist

Julie Manano, a licensed marriage and family therapist, specializes in working with couples using emotionally focused therapy for couples. She focuses on attachment styles, particularly the anxious-avoidant dynamic. A healthy relationship is defined by compatibility, shared values, and effective conflict management. Conflict is an opportunity for growth and bonding but must be managed with emotional safety. Change in attachment style can happen within a relationship, but it requires awareness, understanding, and time. The deeper questions to ask in a relationship involve exploring fears, views of self, and shame. Love languages are not enough to replace emotional bonding. In this conversation, Eli Weinstein discusses his book and the importance of understanding relationships' underlying emotions and behaviors. He emphasizes the need for self-reflection and self-awareness to create positive behavior change. Weinstein also highlights the negative cycles that couples often get caught in and provides examples of how to break free from them. He discusses the importance of recognizing that partners are on the same team and need to support each other emotionally. Additionally, he addresses the challenges of adjusting to changes in a relationship and the importance of patience and growth.

Chapter:

• 00:00 Introduction to Julie Manano and Attachment Styles
• 01:28 Defining Healthy Relationships and Conflict Management
• 05:09 Breaking the Ideal of No Conflict in Relationships
• 08:56 The Role of Repair in Relationships
• 10:22 Understanding Change in Attachment Styles
• 13:13 Fear of Vulnerability and Change in Relationships
• 14:40 The Importance of Attachment Styles in Relationships
• 16:30 Changing Attachment Styles Within a Relationship
• 18:24 Balancing Repair and Attachment Style Work in Therapy
• 21:09 Exploring Deeper Questions in Relationships
• 23:02 The Limitations of Love Languages in Relationships
• 24:26 A Different Approach to Love and Relationships
• 24:54 Understanding the Underlying Emotions and Behaviors
• 27:18 Recognizing the Complexity of Relationship Problems
• 33:56 Partners on the Same Team: Emotional Support
• 37:20 Sympathy over Empathy: Connecting to Feelings
• 48:28 Breaking Free from Negative Cycles

Julie Menanno (MA, LMFT, LCPC) is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. She also provides insight and advice for couples at @TheSecureRelationship on Instagram, with over one million followers. She founded and runs the Bozeman Therapy & Counseling clinic, and The Secure Relationship Coaching. She lives in Bozeman, Montana, with her husband and six children.